Once upon a time, I was falling in love
But now, I'm only falling apart
There's nothing more I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time, there was light in my life
But now, there's only love in the dark
There's nothing more I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

I am always in the dark...
I only wish for the light...

~PROFILE~

Nicholas Tan

19 years old

ex-TPJCian Squasher

Currently in the service of SAF

Bday : 22/8

Friends are my life

Games are my pastime

Slacking is my hobby

Sports are my de-stress-ers

~WISHES~

a new nice bag

Slam Dunk!

More free time to spend with my friends

NS time to pass real fast..

That special someone...

~ENTERTAIN ME!~

~FRIENDS~

Alan. Darrelle. Dionis. Germaine. Henry. Hui Jun. Mei Zhen. Jasmine. Jun Qiang. Mark. Nicky. Pang Yao. Tracy. Ziqi.
~Now Playing~;


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Sunday, August 2, 2009
7:18 PM

Long time no update... Oh well, not like i have much to update about. Yesterday went to meet my sce sch mates for dinner, mark, henry, chunkiat, marcus and andre, i went there too early and so i went to walk around the neighbourhood. I walked past an inline hockey court and saw tons of ppl skaing there. As i looked at them, i couldnt help but think abt why didnt i have the chance to enjoy my childhood, sigh, guess im just unlucky to have parents who want their child to excell in his studies.

Anyway, had a real late dinner at some coffeeshop near the round market in Tampines st 12. Had the XO fish bee hoon. It was delicious, except that the fish was a little plain. Talked alot, caught up with the guys, it has been real long since i saw them.

sigh..

Always dread sundays when i have to book in, damn its so sian to go back to camp, rather send my time on other useful stuff..

You were always in my thoughts, maybe the signs were too subtle, I just couldnt make you see it..

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Sunday, July 12, 2009
6:50 PM

Yesterday was the celebration for huijun's belated birthday... Lots of last minute changes, but its not like i've just known the organiser.. >< Still, its quite irritating when u are in tshirt and jeans, on the mrt to marina square and u receive a call telling you to meet at parkway instead.. -.-"

So in the end we all went to have dinner at ashton, we includes, me, huijun, qiuyu, eunice, tedja and eunice. Actual plan was to go play L4D, but too bad yew wee didnt like palying lan, furthermore the lan shop was closed... so we chilled at parkway parade at some yougurt ice-cream shop, where the girls took lots of photos of themselves smiling differently.

So that was abt what we did, at least its much better than staying at home facing the computer screen...
sigh.. its sunday again.. the most sian day of the week where i dread booking in.. =(

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Saturday, July 4, 2009
4:21 PM

LIFEHOUSE LYRICS - Blind:

"I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go"

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Sunday, June 21, 2009
1:08 PM

Been quite some time since my last update... im actually quite bored suring weekends, except when im outside.. =D Yesterday met billy, weichao, and nic toh for L4D at katong, huijun came a little later. Huijun L4D actually not bad for beginner.. LOL

After that we went to some jap restraunt to celebrate billy's birthday, too bad my family was celebrating father's day that night too, so i bo bian watched them eat their delicious food for awhile before rushing to my cousin's hse.. =(

And bloody hell i left my ez-link card with nic toh, so after i boared the bus, i realised i had no coins too.. ><" luckily got some nice mum spared me a few coins... so i manged to take the bus, otherwise i sure kena scodled for being late.. -.-"

sigh, now gotta wait till enxt week before i get my ez-linkc ard form weichao becasue i lazy to go tampines and he lazy to come here... zzzz...

oh well, gtg cut my hari already, got parade tmr.. ><" arrgh, this week so sian..
ZZZ...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Sunday, May 31, 2009
6:04 PM

Damnit... Looks like i wont get any block leave anytime soon.. reason? because we only have 4days of leave left... wtf...

Met up with the 07s18 ppl at marina square pizza hut, huijun, qiuyu, tracy, wahida, weichao, billy and nick toh... billy and nic toh talked abt NS most of the time while the rest were just gossiping... quite a fun mmet up especially since we havent see each other for quite some time.
And huijun was there fuming abt her incident with Ainul, repeating quite a few times so we could get the full story from her perspective..

After the meal, some went home, while nic toh, billy huijun and I decided to play L4D at a lan shop.. it was quite hilarious, especially when Tedja was scolding her for shooting teammates or empty spaces instead of the zombies. Really hope to have another one of such outings.. haha...

Anyway, i just got my SGC, thanks to huijun for making the trip and helping us collect.. =D
so now im gonna take a leaf out of Tracy's book and post parts of my sgc.. =X


" Nicholas is a soft-spoken, cheerful and tactful young man. He was also respectful of and co-operative with his tutors and peers.... Nicholas developed into a confident young man who, when faced with difficult situations, was able to mantain his composure.

Nicholas was a hardworking and conscientious student who did his work with thoroughness and enthusiasm. Nicholas also exhibited the ability to absorb ideas easily and applied them correctly in problem solving... Being self-motivated, Nicholas would not hesitate to seek clarifications when necessary...

...With determination and steady composure, he managed to bounce back form setbacks. This has built up tenacity in him and he is more confident when facing future challenges. He is able to take things in his stride... "

that was part of it. =D lazy to type all...
going to have dinner soon.. till next week!!

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Sunday, May 24, 2009
1:01 PM

Nth interesting to blog abt, so im just putting up the studio version of the song sang by Adam during the American Idol finals.

~Enjoy!~

For those who prefers Kris version you can hear it here.

http://www.lyricdom.com/2009/05/kris-allen-bounderies-song-mp3-and.html

No Boundaries - Adam Lambert

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait?
Every moment last forever
When you feel you've lost your way
What if my chances were already gone?
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away

Here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries

There are no boundaries

I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets?
Don't know where the future's heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down
I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I risked being safe but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you
And your dreams

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

Yeah, there are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Saturday, May 16, 2009
12:47 PM

Woohoo.. my unit suddenly pulled out from an exercise which would have caused me to stay outfield for 3 to 4 days.. =D But this means more saikang for us as we now have to unpack whatever we have packed for it.. =.=" what a waste of time..=/ So my army life would go back to its repetitive motion soon... almost 3 mths of NS is over.. damnmit fells like its gonna take forever.. =(


even my weekend is getting repetitive, with so many of my friends in the army or working, its hard to find a time when we are all free. results in me facing the computer with nothing much to blog about, so much until i postponed my post to today.
Wondering why im at home on a monday? My officers "forced" us to take our Vesak Day off today.. -.-" I would have rather they let us choose when we can take our leave..

And coincidentally my bro didnt have to go to sch today too, so at least i have some form of company other than my naggy grandmother.

siann im so bored.....
somebody entertain me pls.. ><"

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Sunday, May 10, 2009
7:57 PM

sigh... wonder if anyone still reads this... oh well who cares.. anyway, Prabu just got his handphone.. wow his 1st handphone at the age of 19.. i think he had a more deprived childhood as compared to me.. =X haha

accecpted NTU's material science and engineering course without much thinking... wasnt to keen on SMU social science or NUS civi engineering.. So i attended the tea reception for the course with my camp mate who was also invited.. overall it was ok and the way they put it, its quite a versatile course..

hiax.. gotta leave hse at 9 for my camp.. zzz i hate sunday nights... sigh.. the only think that im looking orward to is watch the small tv in our bunk... -.-" 12 ppl squeezing to watch s-factor and harper's island..

btw, heard this great song last thurs at american idol's result show.. No surprise by Chris Daughtry. too bad i couldnt get to play the whole on imeem.. so i shall post the song up here as soon as they full song can be played..
anyway heres the lyrics..

NO SURPRISE by Daughtry

I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder
I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why...

It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no, as NO SURPRISE

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this, it's easier to see the reason why

It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE
The kiss goodnight, it comes with me
Both wrong and right, our memories
The whispering before we sleep,
just one more thing that you can't keep
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE


Its been so long.. so why does this feeling still linger?

expressing the emptiness inside me..